August 6, 2008 :: POLISAS :: 5.45pm
My best friend's father passed away last Monday...Al-fatihah...to Piza,be strong girl... I am so sorry that I can not to be there when you need someone's shoulder to cry... I was too shocked to hear that news...Innalillah...
16th July 2008 :: 1.12pm :: JMSK,POLISAS
I was attended my first class just now…nervous??? A little bit…but I was so excited to start teaching…as long as I don’t have to stay in the office in a long period…hahaha…
Well…there are 19 students in my class.. thank God….Alhamdulillah… my other class has about 50 students…huhuhu…giler…
Well so far so good.. they seem such great students…good behavior so far…laughing at most part of my humor…nasib baik…kalo x, jadik mcm badut aku kat depan td.. hahaha
I gave them a lot of motivation regarding of Math…as everyone knows, poli students are so poor in Math…in fact they can not evaluate a simple calculation …how sad… so I mentioned to them, to be good in Math…they have to practice…practice. .practice… and I gave them some other tips too…
Can’t hardly wait to go the other classes… semangat beb… well I promised to my students just now that I will be a good lecturer to them and they were smiling and some of them said “Amin”…and they also promised to me that they will work more harder and do their best… I hope so…
Ok…got to go…
I will not updating my blog may be for a long time since I am busy teaching my beloved students…so guys…you just keep blogging…dun worry, I will spend some times to read your blog…chaw…
19th Jun 2008 :: 10.19 am :: JMSK,Polisas
I wait so long for this moment…at last…I have my own carrier… my dream job… it has been almost 1 week I started my new carrier… from now on, I am a lecturer at Politeknik Sultan Haji Ahmad Shah (POLISAS), Kuantan… I will face a lot of challenges and I can’t wait to start teaching…
I wonder, what kind of students that I will have and I wonder what kind of lecturer I will be…hihihihi… let time show me the truth..
k…got to show to the staff that I am busy working although for these 4 days I just wander around doing nothing…kakaka…
got to go…bubui…chaw
May 15 2008 :: 3.00 pm :: in my bedroom
Everyone has friends… we make friends when we were still young… we met a lot of friends in our childhood… we can define a friend in many very different ways… some people say a friend is only a person we meet at schools, at works or at our neighborhoods… not more than that… for this kind of people, they treat a friend as a person they see as a human being just as same as them…
Well… it is different from me… I see a friend is more than that… I grew up amongst my friends… honestly, I spent most my times with my friends not with my family… even my mom had said that I was too mean… put my friends in higher priority in my life than my own family… even my bf also said the same thing… I cannot blame them… it is true… I won’t deny it…
There were a situation when I have to choose to be with my family or to be with my friends… you can guess that I chose to be with my friends… that was the day my mom said that I was being selfish… well… I really can’t think clearly that moment… but what to say…let the past be the past… unfortunately, that behavior becomes my habit…my common attitude… until now I choose to be with my friends rather to be with my family… I don’t even think about my family’s feelings… I only think about my friends’ feelings… for me…my friends play a main role in my life to make me as what I am right now… I have my own reasons why I am telling this… the reasons that other people won’t understand…
However… there was an incident that change my feelings about friends… and I can’t doubt that what my mom and my bf had said about I am so kind to my friends who love to take advantage on me was right… and I am so depressed to have a friend like that… they have opened my eyes to see the real person of her… I just can’t believe that she can do such thing to me… I trust her… I love her… and I’m always loving her… she is my soul mate…back then… but I am not sure whether she is still my soul mate or not… when I need her, she is not there for me… I am so frustrated… I just can pray that she will be happy forever and I’m always be there for her as always I did to her…
Well… it is ok… I still have a few friends who will be there whenever I need them… and I am so grateful to have them as my friends…
I just want her to know that… when we have a friend… we must take a good care of him/her… don’t be so selfish and don’t seek friend just for help… don’t ever take advantage to a friend… make friends with your heart… not with money, status or so what ever… always be there for your friend…
My dear friend who broke my heart… please read this carefully… “Never break 4 things in your life – Trust, Promise, Relation and Heart because when they break they don’t make noise but pains a lot”…
Till now…bye…
~Mar~
April 6, 2008 :: 8.07pm :: in my bedroom
hello...
mmm...the same problems occurred in my life...no change at all... family problem+ financial problem+posting problem... hmmm...nothing much to say...no need to elaborate all the stuff...hmm...to much sigh..moan...lament...hmmmm (hahaha...all of them are the same meaning)
I have to be patient.. must do a lot of prayers...must do a lot of effort...so that my life will change ...forever...to make a better life is not so hard,right???is it??? noooo...life is sooo hard...but it is for the losers only...to lazy people...to people who are always like to give up and stop trying too soon or not trying good enough...
well...stop talking nonsense... i am not a motivator...huh...i have to motivate myself first, then i can motivate others...sooo....i am reading a lot of motivation books right now...just to gain my self-esteem back...i borrowed all that books from shah alam library... what i can say about the books...mmm...they are so greaaattt... all the contents are so inspiring... make me believe that i am actually a better person than i am thinking right now...the authors show me that we have to trust ourselves and we have to control our mind...mind is so powerful...we can't imagine what our mind can do...when we use our both conscious and sub conscious mind in the right way... we will find out that we are all can be a superheroes and we can make our life become so meaningful and not only that...we can change the world to be a better place to live...can u imagine that??....great huh??
there a lot of good phrases in that books that give me strength... inspiration and can guide me to the correct path in my life... unfortunately i didn't copy down the good phrases...huh...rugi betul...
well...now i am reading "Breathing Alive". This book shows us that it is actually not so difficult to understand when we come to realise that we all have just one thing in common - the element of air...nice huh...
mmm...it has been almost 1 month i dun write anything in my lovely diary??? why??? mmm...dun know...may be i just getting bored to keep expressing my bad feelings, my sorrow to the unliving thing...is that the truth reason?? what a lame...
k...got to go... got to translate from BM to BI of a thesis for my friend's sister... doing the thesis about the application of the peacock motive in the resist textile.. . interesting final year project...and i have seen her batik...so nice...i told her that i'll do my best...dun expect too high from me...since my English is "so-so"... anyway, i am trying to do my best..she is too busy finishing the project and she doesn't have much time to concentrate on the writing/report part...nothing much to do at home now..so i help her..no big deal...k...arios...hey guys...keep blogging...i am too bored watching online movie everyday... uhuk... check out this cool website...u can watch any korean/japan dramas /movies and anime in it...just name it... it is so cool...and i spend my whole day watching online movie from there..try it out... www.crunchyroll.com and thanks to my beloved friend, Sarah who gave me this link... i owe her so much..thanks dear...chaw...
February 27, 2008 :: at home::9.30 am
I am so depress...stress...my life is so miserable right now...i hate my life...Ya Allah... please give me strength to face all the challenges and the tests You gives to me... i have no idea what i am suppose to do...I pray to You Ya Allah...please help me...give me the peacefulness in my heart...
I am waiting for the bright light to appear and guide me in the darkness...that will shine my life as a sun shines the whole world....
my heart is crushed into pieces...i dun know whether i can put it together again...
Februari 25, 2008 :: at my home :: 12.01 am
i made a mistake...such a big mistake...a stupid mistake...i just feel grateful to have him to guide me to choose the right path...sometimes...when i was acted differently... when i turned to the dark side of me...he will be there to give me some light so that i can find the way out....actually there is inside me...a voice that telling me to do such a stupid thing...stupid thing that will hurt my feelings and others too...i just can't handle it...am i being immature or what??? i dun know...the most part that i am afraid of is i feel that someone else is living inside me, control my soul and thought....who is that person??? trying to ruin my life...to take in charge my whole life...i hate this person...i am not telling that i have multiple personality disorder...i am not suffered with that kind of problem...may be we call it as the devil inside us...the negative side of ourselves that we do not realize whenever it comes out from within us...
sometimes we are trying our best to fight it...fight it very hard from comes out to control us...or sometimes we fight it from comes into our body and soul..we tried so hard and sometimes we failed...not because we are too weak but because at that time we didn't know how to distinguish whether it is the bad or good things...we realize it in the matter of time but that time ,it is too late for us to turn back time to the past to make it right...
well...well...may be we have to learn that life is not that so easy to handle ...BUT ...we can make our life become so meaningful by realizing that we live with other people around us...people who we love so much...and we are not alone in this world...so...whenever the dark side of ourselves wants to come out from inside us...tell to ourselves that "u have to make choices...and you better make the right decision... you can choose to become a good person or you can choose to become a bad person...a good person who can make others happy,pleasant with your attitude and make people love u...or a bad person who can make people hate u and never forgive u when u done something really bad to others..." and after that try to think which one u want to choose...??? this is the decision that will change your whole life at once....
people will tell that there is always a second chance when we had made mistake...ok...it's true...but how if the 1st mistake that you have done really give bad impact to others' life...???? some examples....1)a killer kills an innocent person ...2)a man rape a girl...3)a daughter/son hurts her/his mother's feeling...4) a good friend betrays his/his own friend....5)a husband having an affair with other woman...bla bla bla....so how...? yes..people will give you the second chance to change...to repay your sin...to repent...but how about the bad impact that will not be forgotten that leave deep inside us...??? no matter how you have changed and become a different person...it won't help others to feel better...
huh...too much writing nonsense here...i have been dragging of the story of making a big mistake...so...after this...i must have a second thought whenever i want to make a decision...although i fail all the time...i just have to keep telling myself to make the right choice/decision that will not hurt my feelings and others too... especially to him...
thank you so much sayang for always being there when i need you and for showing me your hands and pull me from the darkness...you were my voice when i couldn't speak, u were my eyes when i couldn't see and u were my strength when i was weak...
till now..
-mar-
2008, January 10 :: 10.26pm :: in my bedroom
well...my mother n my sister went to melaka for 4 days...so i was the one who have to take fully responsibility to cook for the rest of my family members...ahaks...i luv to cook...but the thing is i dun feel confident to cook...why??? because....my brother loves to critic my cook....n u know what...he will throw the rice+lauk when he tasted my cook that was not tasty...hampeh tul...then everytime i was trying to cook, i'll make sure that my mom did not tell him that i was the one who cook on that day, but...so silly...he knew anyway...of course he can distinguish the taste between my cook and my mom's cook...right...? but the thing is...when i tasted it, it was ok with me...my father said it was ok and my niece n nephew eat that stuff without complaining...but my brother...plz....so cerewet...menyampah betul...
mmm i learn how to cook since i was in primary school...from there i develop my cook skill...poyo...so when my mom was away for 4 days...i was the chef...hahaha...so there are my cooking list for last 4 days...
wed - ikan masak lemak cili padi + sayur campur
thur - breakfast=mee goreng, lunch= kari ayam + sayur
fri - breakfast=cekodok pisang, lunch =asam pedas + sayur
sat - no breakfast, lunch=sardin masak cili padi + sayur (i have to cook simple lauk bcoz i dun have so much time since i have to go to my friends' wedding)
today (sunday) - breakfast=mihun goreng, lunch =rendang ayam + sayur....(hahha..1st time masak rendang)...n then caramel
here are the comments made by some of my family members...
my father - "kalau apak cakap dengan mak kau...marah nnti dia...tapi ko masak mmg ada rasa...sume ada rasa...mmg umph...dah boleh kawin dah ni..dah pandai masak...terbuka selera apak ari ni..."(hahaha...i know that he just want to impress me and nak sedapkan hati je,...but thanks to apak bcoz since long time ago he was the want who always say that my cook was delicious..x sedap pun dia cakap sedap)
my brother irwan - silent mode...(hahaha...he is the who likes to throw my lauk in the dustbin...geram tul..he is very cerewet...and he just like to eat my mum's cook...org lain masak dia reject...but this time my mun warned him already by saying..."nti adik ko masak ko jgn nak banyak mulut..makan je..." hahaha... then he eat in silence...siap tambah lagi...x menahan)
my brother iskandar - "ntah apa2 la yg ko masak ni... "(eleh..he always like this...tp makan x hengat gak..nyampah ar)
my niece n nephew - always nodding when i asked them "sedap ke x?"....they dun have any choice,,,,they must say sedap or nod their head,,,if not...i'll know what to do with them....hahaha
my sister - "ala boleh la tahan...." (she always gives this comment...jeles la tu... hahaha..perasan)
k...tomorrow i want to cook ikan masak taucu...anyone knows what is taucu is...??
k la...uits...can't hardly wait to see him tomorrow...hahaha...miss him so much
story about my caramel...i did caramel just now...from the recipe given by fadhlun... well...menjadi la gak..the thing is my sister "auter" my caramel...put some susu cair cook with daun pandan and add some stuff..bengkek gile...tp x pe...it taste soooo ggoooodddd....may be i'll give him some to have a taste of my caramel... ahaks...
k...chaw...untill now...see u
arios..
~Mar~
February 8, 2008 :: 5.18pm :: in my bed room
I copy and paste my personality according to birth month from my friend's blog... thanks to Fadhlun.... so I must write (fadhlun dalam ira, 2008)...sape biasa buat thesis tau la apa maknanya ni...hihihi...("dalam ira" tu bcoz she took it from ira's blog...x paham ek...abaikan je...kakaka)
This is from Dr. Fadzilah Kamsah...he did some research bout this matter...
* Sangat aktif dan dinamik. (hahaha....I'm active in a certain time...my hubby knows the time I become so active...hahaha)
* Cepat bertindak membuat keputusan tetapi cepat menyesal.(sooo truueee)
* Sangat menarik dan pandai menjaga diri.(me??menarik???ugly...that's for sure)
* Punya daya mental yang sangat kuat.(maybe....sometimes)
* Suka diberi perhatian.(yup...yup...)
* Sangat diplomatik (pandai memujuk ).(yes....yes...but I dunno how to pujuk him...uhuk)
* Berkawan dan pandai menyelesaikan masalah orang.(my frenz always say that i am a problem solver for their problems...hehehe...make friends...everyone can make friends, right?)
* Sangat berani dan tiada perasaan takut.(yes...yes....last time I was so brave... going out at 1 am ...walking in the street.,..gile)
* Suka perkara yang mencabar, pengasih, penyayang, sopan santun dan pemurah. (of couurseee...muakaka)
* Emosi cepat terusik.(absolutely...)
* Cuba kawal perasaan.(no...no...aku x macam tu...kenapa??)
* Kecenderungan bersifat pendendam.(no lah....)
* Agresif dan kelam kabut dalam membuat keputusan.(hahaha...it's me)
* Kuat daya ingatan.(maybe...yup...sometimes)
* Gerak hati yang sangat kuat.(yes...always...i always follow my instinct)
* Pandai mendorong diri sendiri dan memotivasikan orang lain.(hahaha...macam yer je)
* Berpenyakit disekitar kepala dan dada.(ye la....betul...)
* Sangat cemburu dan terlalu cemburu(with him....yeeessssss)
k guys...mmm...hahaha...no comment...
Jan. 24th 2008 :: in my bedroom :: 9.30 am
Hi...
Well...it's me...Cikgu Marini...hahaha...I have been as a substitute teacher almost 2 weeks...in the 1st week I taught Math Form 5 n Chemistry Form 4.....hahaha....well... I change to teach Science Form 1 n 2 and Art Form 1 in this week...why??? kesian kat budak2....lingkup nti ajar Chemistry...mmm...the students are so clever nowadays... they asked me a lot of questions....imagine that they asked me why (OH)2 got bracket but CaCl3 doesn't have bracket...hahahaha....well... I tried my best to give the best answer but it seems that i can see from her face that she was not satisfy with the answer given by me... hahaha...and u know what....i made mistake in the 1st experiment....kakaka... then I decided to quit teach chemistry then I met my Pen. Kanan (still Pn Rohaya) and we discussed about my problem then she gave me suggestion to change teach Science...mmm.....well Science is ok...simple n easy than chemistry n in fact i'm enjoy teaching science...ahaks...
I be a sub. teacher at my old school...Raja Zarina...I met a lot of my old teachers.... they seem looked so shock when they saw me....hahaha.....they said that I look so different now...of course....almost 10 years i left that school...
mmm...Mr Ng who was so selebet is so "smart" now...1st time I saw him wearing batik last tuesday...hahaha....
mmm...pn rohaya still maintain....with her elegant looks...
pn norlia, pn asmahan and a few teachers....dah berisi skit...
pn fuziyah still maintain kurus...hahaha...same as pn noraini...
pn che puan still with her attitude...kecoh2...hahhaa
pn siti anum is penyelia petang now...naik pangkat...
pn patrick,pn grace,pn maggie,pn tan,pn see...huhuhu...maintain...x tua2 ke diorg ni???
so many teachers to recall...but the thing is...i'm glad to see them again.... hahaha...
there are a lot of changes in my old school...so many development n new buildings... mmm...one place that doesn't change untill now...the toilet...still the same...with that smell...hahaha....busuk...kakaka...
k..got to go...
cikgu marini nak gi sekolah...hahaha....
bye...c u then
